In another life, in a parallel
universe, I was in a relationship many years ago.
Amid this ride (it was a ride as you shall very shortly know), I discovered that she
was two timing on me with my friend. Suffices to say, that’s the closest I ever
got to a threesome in my life.
Few years later, my friend discovered
that she was also two timing him with another friend. And that my friends, is
the closest either of us got to an orgy in our lives.
So by now, the fact is clearly
established that she was (coughs to cover up the syllables) ... basically, an
asshole.
However, I was delusional and needy
enough to have been madly in love. And here is the thing – when these two
conditions (being madly in love and the worse half being an asshole) are met,
one tends to lose two things.
In this whole episode I lost:
1. My self respect
2. My weight
They say there is always a silver
lining. But consider the irony. The globally accepted top rated (though
shallow) way of gaining self esteem is losing weight. And then there’s me!
However, I do think that she also
actually loved me. Just that her timing was off. She did say “I love you” ...
although approximately 6 and a half months late – on Friendship day instead of Valentine’s
Day.
So, here’s my conclusion – “Made in
China” and “I love you” are the most common phrases in the world. And, neither
of them comes with any guarantee!
Case Closed!
P.S. – I am starting to get
obsessed with the concept of parallel universes.
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